Having Able-Bodied Siblings As Someone With SMA

I am the youngest of my siblings at twenty nine years old. I have two step-brothers and one step-sister. Due to genetics, I am the only one in my family that was affected by Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) at birth. I was diagnosed at around eighteen months old. My siblings never made me feel any different about my wheelchair or disability.

Fitting in with my siblings

It never occurred to me that I was limited in any way when it was just my siblings and me, especially at a young age. As far as I knew I just didn’t move like them. They walked and ran and I drove my wheelchair. When I was super little, I drove a Barbie jeep around and chased them through our yard. Where they flopped on the couch, I stayed seated in my chair.

My sister and I played Barbie’s on the floor and reenacted school where she was the teacher and I the student. My brothers wrestled with me and tossed me around like a ragdoll (even when they probably shouldn’t have been doing that, due to my body being weaker). We played pool. They took me on sled rides down the embankment of our childhood home.

To me, there wasn’t a difference between us. They never treated me any differently. For that, I am grateful. Always. They always found creative and unique ways to include me in whatever shenanigans they were getting into.

I fondly remember pulling them around the house on a roller racer toy tied to my wheelchair, whipping them around and down the hall. That ended in a hole busted in the wall but a great memory for all of us.

Realizing our differences

It wasn’t until around elementary school that I started to realize our lives were going to be a bit different. While they played baseball and football, I cheered them on on the sidelines wondering why I couldn’t be out there on the field with them. Logically, I knew why, but emotionally I wanted to do what they did and didn’t understand why I couldn’t. But nevertheless I liked being there to support them. Just as they supported me in the activity that I was able to in my wheelchair, like choir and Christmas plays at school.

As my siblings reached high school they began preparing to drive and get part time jobs. They fell in love and went to prom. Graduation approached quickly and their lives changed at breakneck speed with marriages and babies soon after. While I was only in middle school at the time I couldn’t wait to be where they were. I wanted exactly what they had.

Separate paths

Unfortunately that’s where our paths split. Those things didn’t come as easily adaptable for me. I did graduate and go to college but it’s been hard to figure out the rest. But that’s one hundred percent okay and honestly, just life.

Learning from each other

I’ve learned a lot having able-bodied siblings and I hope they’ve learned something having a sibling with a disability as well. It taught me that we all can have problems and that we all have struggles, some more so than others and in different ways. It made me realize it’s okay to have different paths in life as long as you can still meet somewhere in the middle at the end of the day.

And that’s something I’ve been learning how to do, be comfortable with where I’m at in life and just be okay with what I’ve got. It’s hard and not easy but I’m getting there. And I’m so thankful to have my siblings by my side to guide me in the things they can and share their experiences with me.