Making Forever Friends
Making friends was never difficult for me as a young girl or even as a teenager. I have always been a pretty outgoing person. I was always extremely sociable, loved being around people, and enjoyed having a large group of friends.
It wasn’t until I moved cross country at the age of 28 and realized making friends as an adult was a whole different game. I talked about making friends as an adult in the past but what I didn’t touch on is making that forever friend.
You all know what it’s like to make surface-level friends, ones when you see them in public and it is easy to say hi to and maybe hold a basic conversation with. But making a forever friend, one that will stand by you through every season of life has its own challenges.
Making friends as a disabled adult
If you’re like me, making friends as a disabled adult has a particularly unique set of challenges. It’s not always easy to hop in a car to run errands with friends, head over to their house whenever you think of them, or walk across the bar to go make a new friend.
But if you desire to make some deep friendships, you should never stop trying and putting yourself out there
Finding quality friends
What I have found to be more important is making quality friends. Friends that you can rely on, friends that you can enjoy being around, and friends that will stick through life‘s ups and downs.
The first step in making a friend is always being friendly! I once heard someone say "to say 'trying' in a relationship isn’t good enough, you actually have to 'do.'"
I have found that being my true self and showing all colors of who I truly am has helped in that friend-making area. People want to know the genuine side of you. People want to know all the facets of your life, including the unique situation of being disabled.
Share it with them. Share the things that they wouldn’t understand. If it scares them or worries them, they probably are not your forever friend anyways.
My husband and I have found deep relationships with people with who we have been open to sharing our real life. And I have learned That most people desire to do the same, so give them space to need a forever friend as well.
True friends want to help
I have learned that true friends want to help.
I had to learn to allow others to help me (of course once we became closer) in areas such as going to the restroom or preparing a meal, but also on the emotional level.
They wanted me to be real, share my deep concerns with them, and share my thought processes and worries for the future. Being vulnerable and allowing them in all areas of life is what actually brought us closer.
I value friendships with great meaning and if you have a desire for a deep friendship, I would encourage you to put yourself out there, be a good friend and open up and allow people in.
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Have you found something to help you mentally cope with SMA?