A Young Man’s Social Years

Every parent can relate to those years of watching your adult child living those carefree years after college, beginning their working careers. So now they have the income to enjoy whatever endeavors they chose.

In our family dynamics, Mike was the first child in line to give us this experience. To be honest, these years were a challenge to us for all three of our children. Mike’s of course gave us additional concerns because of his disability.

Worried about my son when he wasn't home

His close group of friends was those he met during his college years. The majority of them were also friends from the same area, who lived an hour away. 

This resulted in Mike traveling every weekend to "hang out." Those next few years were tough for me particularly because I could never sleep until he came home.

At this point, he did need assistance getting in and ready for bed. So even if I'd fallen asleep, his phone call would wake me up to come downstairs to help him in.

Now to be fair both his brother Dan and sister Ali gave us those years also. The difference was they were able to come home quietly and into bed before we would wake up to check their bedrooms.

So in reality when you have adult children living at home, every parent has to adjust their own expectations. Another lesson learned.

Memorable times with friends

Those wonderful young men who have always taken such great concern for Mike’s needs provided some new and exciting experiences with him. Trips to Florida for the Phillies spring training, many Jimmy Buffett concerts, summer trips to a favorite beach town, a memorable trip up into the Golden Arch in Saint Louis, Missouri.

Mike was so excited when he got there I got his phone call "Mom guess where I’m at right now, the top of the Golden Arch!!!!" His good friends insisted on taking him up.

Support and assistance from good friends

Again we are reminded that friends are such a blessing. Realizing that when they were with Mike it involved a lot of physical work to ensure his safety and comfort. 

It was usually his parents, brother, and sister's effort to protect his dignity. To see his friends were also so willing to follow these same efforts was heartwarming.

During these years, many of Mike’s friends were getting married and settling down. He was at all the weddings and an usher in many.

He never let his disability prevent him from enjoying these life events for any of his friends. They were always there for him and he wanted to be there for them.

Happy and exciting times that led to exhaustion

These young years for him were filled with many happy and exciting times. Many times the challenges of keeping up with his peers left him exhausted and at times kept him in bed for a few days to recuperate.

Of course, as his parents, we were constantly talking to him about being careful to take better care of himself. We waited and had no choice but to just be there for his needs when he finally gave in to the disease’s exhaustion.