Getting Out Of My Head

I know that I am not alone in this feeling. We ‘SMAers’ are very observant wallflowers. Meaning that we see everything. For me, this has helped me to survive when I was in my middle school years. If you've read any of my recent articles, you know that I'm on a healing journey, and am unlearning things that once may have helped me during that time, but no longer serve me now.

Unlearning old survival tactics

One of the things that has helped me to survive when I was younger was being in my head and thinking...a lot, about everything. Spiraling. Thinking about things where I would try to force control out of situations that I couldn't control simply because SMA has taken so much from me that I needed to find something. Does that make sense? My need for control often caused me to overthink because I had to focus on something in situations in which I couldn't control things due to my SMA.

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I still overthink and dwell on negativity

Where I'm at now: I still often get in my head. I hate it. I overthink, and my headspace gets negative.

I definitely try to give myself grace (meaning remembering that I'm human and I'm constantly trying, and remembering that perfection is an illusion) and use these tools:

Journaling

I use the free Day One Journal or the Apple Journal app. I love it because it’s free and I like to have a separate space to journal besides my notes since I have everything else in my notes and my digital storage gets full quite easily.

Slowing down

I am practicing slowing down, focusing on my breath, eating mindfully and forcing myself to have some quiet throughout my day because my brain needs it. I've learned recently the importance of centering yourself, it has really helped me!

Music and sounds

Music has helped me feel better in these moments; some of my favorites include Taylor Swift (I love all of her songs, but my top 3 are: This is me trying, clean, and Speak Now!), Justin Bieber, Maverick City Music (this is Christian music and I am Christian, but I love it because it's so calming!), and pink noise, brown noise and some frequency!

Breathing and feeling it all

You might be thinking, breathing? I do that all the time! I thought the same for the longest time and did meditation for a while, but always felt anxious during it. So I focus on my breath instead if I really need to like if I'm super anxious. And something I'm learning as well is to feel your feelings. I talk about it all the time on my Instagram, but for me, it's been really hard to do so and not let the emotions consume me. I let myself have some time to feel and then I make myself stop after a bit because otherwise I feel eaten alive by them.

The desire for positivity

Here's a quote by Mark Manson that helps settle me when I feel my negative thoughts spiral, “The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience. Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience. The idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.”1

I really love this quote because I feel like I see that we’re supposed to be happy online all the time and that's what Mark discusses but the truth is all that leads to is suppression and becoming more miserable. We have to feel the negative and the uncomfortableness that comes with it, that's a normal part of life and very healthy because it helps us learn and grow!

All of this to say, I redefine being in my head now. It helps me to get to a solution and I can't push that away. Yes, it's uncomfortable but important.

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